Wrap your loving arms around your inner child.

When one looks up the definition of “inner child” a host of suggestions appear. I quiet like the slant that in both popular and analytical psychology that our inner child is considered to be our child-like aspect. The inner child is considered to denote a semi-independent entity subordinate to the waking conscious mind. The term “inner child” has manifold therapeutic applications in counselling and other holistic health settings. John Bradshaw, a U.S. educator, pop psychology and self-help movement leader, famously uses “inner child” to point to unresolved childhood experiences and the lingering dysfunctional effects of childhood dysfunction. In this way “inner child” refers to the entire sum of mental-emotional memories stored in the subconscious from conception to puberty. This term, “inner child” really catches my attention. I believe that there is a young suffering little child in all of us. We all went through some hardships and suffering as a child. Some children suffer more than others in their childhood years but we all suffer some. We spend many years stuffing these feelings deep down into our unconscious mind and cellular memory. We all find ways to protect ourselves from suffering and pain and quiet often we try to forget painful situations and memories. We hide the shame and loneliness from ourselves and others and this places our true self in isolation. When the true self is alone and isolated we experience fear, anxiety and a host of negative emotions. In our adult years we must face and embrace the suffering so that our true self may begin to shine through. We really have to allow the sunlight into the dark dungeon to support the wounded inner child. “ The cry we hear from deep within our hearts, comes from the wounded child within. Healing our inner child’s pain will transform negative emotions”. Thic Nhat Hanh I would like to offer a few practical tips for letting go of the old wound of the heart ; 1. Offer the wounded child care and love each day of your life. 2. Do things that make you happy and light up your internal lamp. Once your light begins to shine all the darkness will fade and eventually cease to be. 3. Show your inner child that you can be trusted. Your inner child must be able to trust you as you are now in your grown body. Once you firmly believe in yourself your inner child will feel that confidence and begin trusting in you. 4. Remember that your parents were just wounded kids themselves and let go of any blame. 5. Stop looking to others for validation and be there for you. 6. Make it ok to feel angry but don’t unpack and stay there. 7. Grieve what happened to the inner child without judgements or condemnation and understand that the authentic loving child is still awaiting you to embrace it. 8. Listen to your inner child and assure the child that you will never let it unattended again. 9. Affirm to your inner child that you are emotionally available now and always will be in the future. 10. Take your inner child on holidays, camping, hill-walking and other adventures. 11. Meditate with your inner child and breathe in the joy and breathe out the old wounds. 12. Allow your thoughts to circulate so that you have a healthy psyche. 13. Learn to embrace and deal with negative feelings. 14. Finally we must learn how to recognise, embrace and love our inner fears so that we may be free of all suffering.